Advent calendar for couples: 24 little challenges

An advent calendar for couples swaps chocolates for 24 little challenges to do together, one a day from 1 to 24 December. You can put it together in a single evening with numbered envelopes, and each day takes anywhere from one minute to an hour.

Why make an advent calendar for two?

December flies by: shopping, family meals, a busy end of year at work. A calendar for two guarantees a moment that is just yours every day, even a short one. It also gives you a reason to look forward to the evening: what is in today’s envelope?

How do you put it together?

• The format. Twenty-four numbered envelopes pegged along a piece of string, a decorated shoebox, or simply a jar of folded slips of paper.
• Sharing the work. Each of you prepares twelve days in secret, even days for one and odd days for the other. That way you both get surprises.
• The pace. Keep weekday challenges short and save the longer ones for weekends. Check your diaries before you decide which goes where.
• Flexibility. If a day doesn’t work, swap it with the next one. The point is to enjoy it, not to fulfil a contract.

The 24 challenges, day by day

1. Decorate a corner of your home together, then each write down what you hope for from this December. Seal both notes in an envelope for the 24th.
2. Hot chocolate and a Christmas film, chosen by the toss of a coin.
3. Tell each other your favourite childhood Christmas memory.
4. Bring your partner breakfast in bed, even a quick one, before work.
5. Draw each other’s portrait in sixty seconds with your eyes closed. Keep the drawings.
6. Each write a list of ten things you would like to do next year, then spot the ones you share.
7. A ten-minute shoulder massage, taking turns.
8. An evening walk to see the Christmas lights nearby.
9. A phone-free evening from 8pm to 10pm.
10. A voucher to use whenever you like: “an evening where you decide everything”.
11. Cook a recipe together that neither of you has tried before.
12. Slow dance in the living room to a song your partner picks.
13. Ask each other five questions you have never asked before.
14. Write each other a New Year card, not to be opened until 31 December.
15. Do an impression of your partner first thing in the morning for one minute. They mark it out of ten.
16. Share a bath or a shower by candlelight, with no rush.
17. Look back through your photos from the year and pick your five favourites together.
18. A thirty-second kiss, timed, under the mistletoe or anywhere else.
19. Do something kind for someone else together: a donation, a note for a neighbour, a call to a relative who is on their own.
20. Replay your first date: same drink, same questions, same nerves.
21. The winter solstice falls around 21 December: make the most of the longest night with a blanket, candles and a question game.
22. Slip a cheeky little note into their pocket, bag or under their pillow.
23. Wrap the presents together over mulled wine or a spiced tea.
24. Open the envelope from 1 December and read aloud what you each hoped for this month.

How do you vary the mood?

Alternate between three tones: gentle days (a memory, a letter, a massage), funny days (a timed challenge, an impression) and a few flirtier ones, kept for evenings when you have time. One flirty day a week is enough to add some spark without turning the calendar into a test.

If you run short of ideas for busy evenings, the 20 one-to-five-minute challenges are played on a phone and fit into the fullest days. For days that call for a gift, the 16 customisable love vouchers can be printed and slipped straight into the envelopes.

An advent calendar for two doesn’t need grand gestures, just a small date every day.

Frequently asked questions

When should we prepare a couples’ advent calendar?
Ideally in the last week of November. One evening is enough to write the 24 days and get the envelopes ready.

What should I put in an advent calendar for my partner?
Challenges to do together, vouchers to use later, little notes and, now and then, a treat to eat. Mixing formats keeps it from feeling routine.

Can we start the calendar late?
Of course. Do two days in one evening to catch up, or simply start a shorter countdown to Christmas.

Does it work in a long-distance relationship?
Yes. Send the day’s challenge by message each morning and do it together on a video call in the evening. Most of the ideas adapt very well.